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Because when we fail to follow the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative, the fault lies with .Speaking of stories: I want to tell you the story about my first time. Not too far off from the average age of 17 actually, but even had I known, it wouldn’t have made me feel better at the time.My bitterness and resentment made me a prime, self-pitying asshole costs. Like many virgins, I was convinced that doing so would be a cheat or would render it invalid. Long story short different (aside from “holy shit I had sex”). I hadn’t been magically cured of all my ills and insecurities.It only “counted” if I were able to seduce someone with my own skill and charisma. And my first thought – y’know, besides “lets do it again” – was simply: “Shit. ” That confusion I felt was directly tied to an issue I find a of men have when struggling with their feelings about virginity: the belief that losing their virginity is a major milestone after which everything will be different and better. We fetishize virginity in men his virginity on the other hand…The second is that by focusing on being A Virgin – making it part of your identity – you indulge in a form of confirmation bias; you see couples together and immediately assume that they’re fucking even though they’re on their first date.You dismiss the people who still aren’t having any.The fear of being “outed” as a virgin becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.They so fear rejection for being virgins that they can’t bring themselves to approach women.

What are you supposed to do about the fact that you’re one of the Great Untouched?

We get the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative burned into our minds early on, reinforced over and over again by pop-culture until we start to believe it’s the TRVTH, carved into stone tablets delivered to us at the base of Mount Sinai.

The story turns our sexual development into a performance, just as masculinity is often a performance.

What makes this especially twisted is the way we internalize the pressure to fuck, to be a virgin.

When we fail to follow the narrative we get angry, lashing out at others and haranguing ourselves in turns.

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