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When we see relationships as a part of our identity and as something to be gained or lost, it is inevitable we will suffer when it comes to an end.Right now, however, you might not be in a place where you can start true healing. Maybe you are questioning your own feelings for your ex.Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of the self-image you created as part of a couple.And you can feel like a break-up is not only severing the relationship but also dismantling your own image of who you are as a person.It’s a scary feeling when a guy you’re seeing seems to be pulling away.You aren’t sure if he’s actually withdrawing or if your own insecurities are acting up and making you paranoid.MORE: Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You If you are in the same scenario, the first step towards ultimate healing could just be getting clarity on what’s happening on his side of the street.Does he actually miss you or are your own desires or confusion clouding your judgment?

The fact is, the human mind is a master at coming up with rationalizations when presented with a reality we don’t quite want to accept. [Click here to keep reading…] Breakups are never easy. A lot of the pain we experience when a relationship ends is the result of our own illusions about the relationship, about our ex, and about ourselves.

Maybe his parents had a nasty divorce when he was a kid, maybe he just went through a nasty divorce himself, maybe he’s focused solely on work right now, maybe he has deeply rooted emotional issues that never got dealt with, maybe he’s been hurt one too many times before.

No matter what the issue, you can’t fix it for him. He can’t be your little pet project and you are not his therapist. You might think if you just stick it out and love him hard enough he’ll come around and change his mind. Every situation is different and it’s up to you to assess the situation and decide what the best move is.

Maybe you are second guessing the breakup itself – thinking of scenarios where things could have gone differently. I’ve been there enough times – somewhere stuck between wanting him back, wanting him to want me back, and hoping for us to get back together in the future.

And it doesn’t help when your ex is sending you mixed signals.

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