Internet dating first contact
I never went for phone conversations as a stepping stone from internet communication to meeting.
I tried phone conversations early on but had a few bad experiences with “excessive calling” and one case where a girl took it as a personal offense every time I had to get off the phone.
Your date might remind you of your time constraint (“But I thought you needed to be home at 8…”). People who are dating online actively will appreciate your planning for a bad date and like the fact that you are saying to them “this is a good date”.
If you would rather not let them in on your planning for the worst-date-scenario, just say that you’d prefer to cancel your previous plans and spend your evening with them.
In contrast, many times the dates ended with coffee or lunch.
This approach is a cousin to the having-your-friend-call-you-and-faking-an-emergency act that some people think is so slick.
A grown woman (or man if the lady is asking) can decide in a few weeks if she would like to meet you – someone looking for a pen pal should do so somewhere else.
Your time is valuable and should be used to communicate with people truly interested in meeting you.
Most people will accept this or make a joke in an attempt to fish for more information (“What, have another hot date after ours? You can come up with a reason you can only be out for a set amount of time but most people will not press very hard to find out why.
If this happens to you, wait a few days (continuing the email conversations) and then ask again.
Unless a good reason is give for not meeting, I would not ask more than three times – there are some people out there who are looking to make online friends or live fantasies out in their head without any intention of actually meeting.
I made this mistake early on and now understand why a few girls, after several emails, would ask direct questions like “Is there anything else you would like me to answer? There are times where you will feel like you are communicating with a “great catch” only to realize what a mistake that was 60 seconds into the first date.
It is important to meet early on so less time is spent talking to the wrong person and more time is spent trying to find the right one. The first date should be planned not long after communication has begun.