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It’s important to feel healthy emotional chemistry, mental/values chemistry, spiritual chemistry, and of course physical/sexual chemistry.

The combination of all of these makes for a relationship where you are far more likely to be compatible and have the opportunity to forge a healthy relationship with prospects.

You’re ignoring an important part of the dynamic between you both where you are clearly incompatible and compensating for it by exaggerating the strength and importance of others.

Much like how your relationships, your self-esteem and basically life in general is very reflective of your beliefs, the ‘chemistry’ you feel is a reflection.

You can also see the effects of chemistry if you have a ‘type’.Once I realised that I too was emotionally unavailable and started demanding of myself to become available, when I met people who I would previously have been quite content to languish around in an ambiguous relationship for a time, I found myself rather non-plussed.I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that as I started taking care of myself physically, making my health a focal point, as well as my values shifting somewhat and feeling even more spiritually connected, that who I felt attracted to really shifted as well.Looking back, I now know that I felt chemistry with the guys I dated previously because they were similar on an emotional level – emotionally unavailable.Aside from physical attraction or any so-called sexual chemistry, the prospect of being with them was ‘fitting’ because emotionally I didn’t feel I was in any real danger of having to ‘risk’ myself.

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